How to Help Your Kids Move Past the Pain of Your Recent Divorce
Ways to Embrace the Holidays With Your Kids As a Single Parent
Photo by Bruno Nascimento on Unsplash
Divorce is never easy to anyone, mutual or not unrequited. As the holidays approach, you can find a little hope as a newly divorced parent. Make the season bright for yourself and your kids by keeping some important ideas in mind.
Find Common Ground
Divorce is the dissolution of marriage by the courts or any other viable means. While the two of you are no longer together, it doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be enemies. In fact, creating some understanding between each other will prove to be very beneficial to the kids and may even lessen the impact of losing the bond you once shared.
Nearly 40 to 50 percent of marriages end in divorce, according to the American Psychological Association. However, remaining friends can help your children to better cope with the separation and shows them what it means to respect others you don’t necessarily agree with. Of course, you don’t have to remain friends right after signing the divorce documents, but time encourages anger, frustration, resentment, sorrow and other depressive feelings to resolve so that you can move on.
You may feel confused, as will your children who may not understand the emotional impact of the divorce. As you navigate your thoughts as well as theirs, talk to someone you can trust so that you can productively express your feelings. It isn’t healthy to hold in your feelings, as this can lead to lingering stress and health issues. Instead, confide in a friend, family member or therapist who will help guide you in the right directions.
Your children will have their own set of worries, such as whether mom and dad still love them or if they will have to move back and forth. Quell any fears by letting them know they will always be loved, no matter what. While an older child may have a better understanding, a small child may have difficulty comprehending what is happening. Some children may even act positive about the separation out of relief, while others may display negative emotions. Always listen to your child and encourage open dialogue so that you can answer any questions and put their worries at ease.
Whenever two people permanently separate from one another, a feeling of loss usually arises. However, many people never take the time to consider how beneficial this can be. For one, your children benefit from not having to witness the both of you fight all the time. Secondly, your children get to see the both of you live a little happier. Divorce doesn’t have to be the end all, be all of your life, as the most important relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself, according to Thrive Global. While feelings of heartache and loneliness are part of the healing process, it’s during this time when you can find yourself and be the best you for your kids.
Whatever your beliefs or religion may be, dive into the holiday season with gladness and create your own set of traditions with your kids as a strengthening tool to find purpose and joy this season. Redfin.com suggests drinking cocoa by a fire, making snow angels, sledding, and watching holiday movie reruns to make the most of the holiday season. Watching classic movies is great for the whole family as your kids can learn the virtues of traditional romance while teaching them the qualities of patience in any situation. Most importantly, love is most important as we enter the holidays. Regardless of the number of gifts under the tree, it will endure, even when all the decorations are put away.
Now that you are newly divorced, there will undoubtedly be worries that may keep you up at night. However, when it comes to your kids, honesty and love are most important, which can benefit you too, as well. Make the season more joyful by incorporating these tips into your holiday planning.